"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

2 Corinthians 7:8-10

“I’m sorry” is a meaningful way to ask someone like me for an apology. However, I have noticed that an apology does not equal remorse. Remorse is deeper. It involves acknowledging guilt, then apologising and expressing a strong desire to make amends. Remorse, not apology is what compels people to make amends. Yet, not all remorse is genuine and long lived.

Fear-based remorse and genuine remorse are two different emotional responses that can arise after we recognise wrongdoing. Understanding these differences is important in evaluating the sincerity and motivation behind the feeling of regret.

In the Christian faith, a lot of people are running on fear based remorse. The fear of hell drives them to change and new life, that is until unfortunately they become frustrated of failure, stop trying, stop caring and continue sinning.

Paul (in the header verse) distinguishes between two types of sorrow: godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. Let's break it down:

Godly Sorrow is genuine remorse that leads to repentance and ultimately salvation. It stems from a deep understanding of one's actions and their consequences, leading to a heartfelt desire to turn away from wrongdoing and towards God. This sorrow is transformative and lasting, bringing about positive change in a person's life. For example, someone with godly sorrow or remorse is driven by the filial fear of God. They acknowledge a huge sacrifice paid over their lives and they intend to do all they can to respond in gratitude, surrender and consecration. They are not driven by morality, instead practise listening to and obeying the Spirit and Word of God to become perfect like the Father.

Worldly Sorrow on the other hand is temporary and shallow. It may arise from fear of punishment or societal pressure rather than a true understanding of the impact of one's actions. This kind of sorrow lacks genuine remorse and does not lead to lasting change or spiritual growth. Someone with worldly remorse or sorrow wants to do right, but will not do so if there wasn't a goal. They regret the wrongs they do, but only because they are scared of being cut off. For people here, not being seen as good, or not going to hell is stronger than the desire to fellowship with Jesus. I do not write this to condemn, instead to separate the difference.

Genuine remorse leads to redemption and sanctification.

Fear based remorse leads to exhaustion and eventual condemnation.

I will leave you with this- evaluate your reasons for seeking God and going to heaven.

1. Why should I change my life?
2. What is the reward or benefit ?
3. Will I continue this path if there wasn't any benefit?
4. What does God want vs what do I want?
5. Am I making a decision based on right and wrong?

In summary, fear-based remorse is driven by self-interest and self righteousness plus the desire to avoid the negative consequences of sin- which is death and eternity in hell.

Genuine remorse stems from a true spiritual acknowledgement of the sacrifice of Jesus and a sincere desire to make amends and forever be in heaven with Jesus Christ our Lord. Like Apostle Paul said, your sorrow should lead you to repentance and salvation, not regression and regret.

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Speak soon!