"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."

Psalm 40:2

When my “perfect” life fell before my eyes, I thought I was at my lowest. In fact, I believed there was nothing and there could be nothing worse than this. And I remember my wise, best friend calmly telling me, “I know you think this is the worst, but you have not yet hit rock bottom”. Of course, I cannot tell you how upset and confused that made me. Because here I was, a loud crying, snot filled, teary eyes, broken hearted woman thinking I was at my lowest and hearing that I wasn’t. Seven months later, I finally agreed.

Unlike some other life changing things, rock bottom is a journey not a destination (even though you eventually might get to a point where that is the end). Job in the Bible got to a final place of rock bottom- no health, no family, no good friends, no hope. Anything and anyone can take someone to a rock bottom place. All it takes is one moment, one day, one sentence, one sight and you start that journey down. Rock bottom is a place any human can go to. And when you arrive rock bottom, you will know. Until then, the falling of your face, feet and form as you crash into an unknown, undesirable pit is all your mind and eyes can see.

Imagine a dimly lit, if at all, shadow pit that seems to deepen your sense of isolation. The air is heavy with a musty, damp smell, memorising decay and stagnation. The ground beneath feels cold, hard, and unforgiving, like rough stone pressing against weary limbs. Every cry echoes, bouncing off the wet walls of the pit, serving as a constant reminder of the confined space. It's a still place where hope is suffocated.

You know you have arrived rock bottom when either one or all of these happens:

1. Nothing worse can happen
2. There is nothing worse you can become
3. There is nothing worse/more than can faze you
4. You engage in constant self destructive and self sabotaging behaviours
5. You withdraw from everything and everyone, including yourself
6. You forget who you are

For those who are there, I am asking you to stay there. Do not be in a hurry to let it go. Do not be in a hurry to get out. I have learned that if you do not sit still with things, giving it necessary time, you will stand with speed and create vertigo, vertigo that leads to a harder fall, a more painful failure, an unhealed fear and a repetitive funeral.

Rock bottom moments are often the turning points in our lives. In this pit, we have one way to go, and that is up. But because we have fallen so far, we do not know that we can, or have the will to do so. Therefore, we have no choice but to sit with our lives, feelings, challenges, vulnerabilities and confront them all. Sit on the hard ground and fold your knees to your chest; allow the jerks of your tears move you to and fro. I call this the rock bottom movements. Another rock bottom movement is the attempt to come out but falling back in. Healing is not linear. Healing is today I am okay, tomorrow I am not but I am hopeful.

The cumulation of rock bottom movements can be incredibly painful and disorienting. While the place can be hard, dark, alone and scary, and the progress on and off, they also hold the potential for profound transformation and growth. Feel the movements. Embrace the moments with courage, self compassion and Divine support. One day, it will lead to unexpected breakthroughs and a renewed sense of purpose. Which in itself is a destination and a journey.

After rock bottom movements, you are/ want to be ready to leave. When you are ready, get up and walk towards the light. Look at a miner’s journey as an example of how to do this. A miner goes under to learn, to discover, to excavate. But oftentimes they are trapped and fall. Yet they learn, hope for someone to save them (in our case we put our hope in Jesus). A miner learns to wait and waits well. Until the miner is eventually (in most cases) saved and resurfaces.

I am afraid I do not have a duration for how long this will take or when you will see the light again, I only promise that you will.

You will know this when you:

1. Smile, hope and dream again
2. Share your story and lessons so others can benefit
3. Your heart grows compassionate and you pray for those who hurt you.
4. Your faith and hope in God is alive
5. Rock bottom and rock bottom movements become a part of the journey and no longer seen as a setback.
6. You heal.
7. You remember who you are and Whose you are.

When you find yourself at rock bottom, with rock bottom movements, remember that it is the end of one journey and the start of another if you let it. Please, do not let it be the end of all journeys by staying there or taking your own life. Take on the miner’s journey and rise from the darkness. Resurface. Return. Be renewed. After all, “people do not light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”